Preschool girls are more likely to head toward the play kitchen and boys are more likely to pick up the toy trucks, says Deborah Best, professor of psychology at Wake Forest University. So, is it a mistake to buy “girl” toys for girls and “boy” toys for boys? “Yes and no,” says Best, a developmental psychologist who studies gender roles and young children.
Deborah Best, professor of psychology at Wake Forest University
“Children naturally gravitate to gender-appropriate toys, but playing with other-gender toys may teach new skills. They need exposure to ‘girl’ toys, ‘boy’ toys and gender-neutral toys to gain experience that will encourage them to play across boundaries,” Best says.
Too much same-gender play may narrow children’s cognitive and motor skills, she says. Girls may refine gross motor skills playing with trucks. Boys may improve their fine motor skills playing with typical girl toys, such as buttoning doll clothing.
She encourages parents to provide “spatial toys” such as puzzles for both boys and girls to help develop their ability to manipulate objects.
Cross-gender play can also have social benefits. Girls who play with cars and trucks may find that they are more comfortable playing with neighborhood boys when that opportunity occurs. Boys who play dress-up with the girls may end up on stage in plays in elementary school.
Toys can also play a role in encouraging nurturing behaviors. “Children learn nurturing and caretaking behaviors from taking care of dolls, pets or younger siblings,” Best says. “If they want boys to learn those behaviors, parents should provide opportunities.”
Best also reminds parents that the toys children receive can shape future attitudes about the roles of men and women.
“When dolls are voluptuous and the emphasis is on sexiness, girls get the message that these are dimensions that are valued for girls and women,” Best says. “When boy toys are more war-oriented, such as assault weapons, boys learn that aggression is valued.”
Young children readily sort their world into two bins – the girl things and the boy things. With the right mix of toys, parents can help children get the benefits of a wider range of experiences. The most important mistake parents make is to give the same sorts of toys over and over.
“Stretch the child’s interest, and think about the educational aspects of the toys. Make sure they encourage creativity.”
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